It’s sometimes a catch 22.
Spontaneity, although I’m a huge fan, might just usually be tossed out the window. Kids, work, bills, LIFE.
And then you finally do carve out that 10 or 20 minutes of sexual time that your bodies been craving and BAM! You cannot orgasm. Back to above. Kids, work, bills, LIFE. You just cannot get them out of your head (even though you know this time is supposed to be for YOU).
You’re not alone. Not by a long shot. Climaxing for a lot of women has almost become work. Or even worse, a chore. Because you can’t get out of your damn head long enough to allow yourself the pleasure. And then the vicious cycle begins. Your right in the middle of the act (either with partner or solo) and all that “stuff” keeps popping into your brain. The fact that you NEED to cum keeps slipping in between the self-reminder of baking those cupcakes for Chloe’s class party. Two words. Good Luck. Ladies, the probability of it happening this way are damn close to nil…
Then throw a partner into the mix. This is a deadly combination for the dreadful “Fake-Out” O. Not only do we want him to feel like he’s done his “job”, we also want to get the dang show over with- There are cupcakes to be baked dammit….
This certainly isn’t fair to “me” (read- YOU). Nor, am I ever a supporter of the fake….
You deserve to orgasm. It’s healthy. It feels good. So the question is how do you get all that crap out of your head and ENJOY?
Although not easy, you can do it! You NEED TO DO IT!
SUGGESTIONS FOR MOVING PAST THE “STUFF” IN YOUR BIG OL’ BRAIN & HAVING THAT ORGASM:
Yes, I know… Easier said than done. But you’ve got to relax. Breath. Begin by relaxing each muscle, starting at your toes and working up. Focus on relaxation.
I love fantasy. Think of it as the adult version of “make believe”. Fantasy can be wonderful when you’re trying to “get out of your head”… Let your mind wander to your hottest, most desirable sexual fantasies. These can include thoughts on things you’ll never do in “real life”, things you fantasize about with other people or your spouse etc. Let your imagination run wild. Create a story line and let it flow. Your fantasies can be your own or even shared with your partner. If you chose not to share, that’s okay too. Fantasies are just that and they should hurt no one. And like a fabulously sexy novel, they will evoke sexual energy and arousal!
- “BOOST” YOUR LIBIDO
Studies show that on average, it takes a man approximately 20 seconds to two minutes to become aroused. Women can take upwards of 20 minutes. NOT a grand combination when A) time is limited, B) The probability that he’ll orgasm first is high, leaving you in the dust,
and C) That 20-minute average takes far longer when you’re faced with (kids, work, bills, LIFE).So what to do? First, refer to above bullet points.
- You also might want to think about “libido boosters”- enhancement creams and the likes that are formulated to speed up our desire. One of the “highlights of the show” at my Las Vegas Goodies Girl Pleasure parties is continually NYPHO’S DESIRE. It’s an arousal cream that can heighten sexual sensitivity and enhance sexual response when you massage it directly on your clitoris. The cream contains menthol for chilling and tingling sensations down below- and will get you to the point of arousal almost instantly.
- ADDED STIMULATION
Adding clitoral (and other erogenous zones) stimulation enhancers (especially during partner play) can be a BIG help. Try tucking a bullet between you and your mate. Love rings with attached bullets work beautifully for both parties. And since approximately 85% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, this could possibly be your saving grace!
- Orgasms relieve stress! So all those mind-filling thoughts can actually be lessened by succumbing!
- Orgasms reduce headaches! More-than-likely caused by all those damn worries! So no more “I have a headache honey” excuses!
- Orgasms are SLEEP INDUCERS! All those fabulous chemicals being released in your brain…. (the little endorphin buggers act as a natural tranquilizer!)
- Orgasms increase LIFE LONGEVITY! Studies show that having more frequent sex/ orgasms (research based on 100 a year) will increase your life by 3-8 years! Have more sex, have more orgasms, live longer- I see only POSITIVES here, yes?! 😉
- Orgasms “up” your immune system! Sex and orgasms release powerful, natural chemicals into your body that balance your immune system, aid in tissue repair, improve brain power, and help alleviate bone deterioration.